


Hopes and Promises

by Mischel



Series: Merlin Memory Month 2019 [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Almost Kiss, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Holding Hands, M/M, Magic, Mentioned Gwen - Freeform, Merlin Memory Month, POV Arthur, Storm - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 17:04:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18721303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mischel/pseuds/Mischel
Summary: Merlin and Arthur have been travelling for days, and they stop at an old watchtower for the night. It starts raining and as they're hiding inside, they realize that there's something between them that neither of them talks about, but that can no longer be ignored. What will happen once they both finally admit their feelings?(Written for Merlin Memory Month 2019.)





	Hopes and Promises

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with another fanfic as promised! You can read this story as a new standalone oneshot, or if you read the previous fanfic in my Merlin Memory Month 2019 series, you can read this one as a sort of continuation :) I hope you'll like it!
> 
> PROMPT DAY 2  
> Path 1 - Pining  
> Path 2 - Emotion/Mood/Aesthetic: Eerie  
> Path 3 - A limit respected / A line overstepped
> 
> \- For this fanfic I used the prompts "pining", "eerie" and "a limit respected".

 

They had been travelling for four days now, and it was getting rather late. The birds slowly stopped singing, the sun hid behind the mountains in the distance and thick clouds covered the sky, bringing a promise of a night rain. It was summer, warm weather even during the night, greenery everywhere. And yet, they hadn't found a place to spend the night.

Maybe it was because they weren't particularly tired. Maybe it was because for the past hour they had both been lost in a pleasant conversation which neither of them wanted to put an end to.

When the crickets started chirping though, both Merlin and Arthur knew it was time for sleep. Thankfully, within a couple of minutes, they came across an old tower. It wasn't very high nor safe by the looks of it, but the roof was still intact and could shield them from the rain.

"It looks like we found ourselves a place for tonight," Merlin commented as he stopped walking and looked the tower up and down. "An old watchtower? Maybe?"

Arthur nodded. "From the looks of it."

The first raindrop landed on his forehead.

"Come on, then. Better not get wet."

They approached the door - it looked just as old and potentially fragile, but when Arthur tried to open it, it was locked.

Thunder sounded in the distance.

Arthur fiddled with the lock using his dagger, but it held.

"Wait, I'll do it," Merlin covered Arthur's hand with his and Arthur stepped aside, putting his dagger back into its scabbard. He watched as Merlin reached out his hand and said, " _Tospringe._ "

The lock immediately flew apart and the door opened on its own. Arthur stared at it and at Merlin's power in wonder.

"See? Easy." Merlin grinned at him and didn't even wait before he stepped inside.

Arthur couldn't help but smile fondly at that, because yes - there used to be times when Arthur would be jealous or annoyed over Merlin making it seem like opening the lock was easy, especially when it hadn't been easy for Arthur when he tried. But now? After everything they'd been through, after everything Arthur had seen Merlin manage to do even without his magic before he revealed it to Arthur . . . he couldn't help but admire Merlin. Not only for his power, no, but for the person that he was.

For the person that he'd fallen in love with. Yes, it was more often love than admiration that Arthur felt, but Merlin knew that. And Arthur knew that too.

When the sound of falling raindrops became louder than his own thoughts, Arthur finally entered the tower.

It was dark, just like it was outside. But something about the place made Arthur feel almost welcome. It was nice to be between walls again after days of spending the nights outside without a proper bed, even though Arthur was sure there was no real bed in this tower either.

"Merlin?" he called out when he realized there was silence for a bit too long.

"Here."

Merlin's eyes shone bright gold in the darkness as he used his magic - Arthur could never get tired of watching that - and Merlin's palm lit up with a little orb of gentle white light.

"That's useful," Arthur remarked.

He closed the door now that they had a light to guide them, and then he looked around the place. It was a narrow tower, only about four meters in diameter, but there was still a little, even narrower, staircase that was going up.

As well as a bunch of torches on the wall along the stairs.

"We can also use those," Arthur pointed at the torches that Merlin only now noticed. His eyes flashed gold again and they all lit up at once.

"Should we go upstairs?" Merlin asked as he stared up to where the stairs were leading. It was a spiral staircase, so he couldn't see much, but there was dark, despite all the torches.

"There's not enough space down here, so we'll have to."

"Alright, then," Merlin nodded but didn't move.

Arthur smirked. "Should I go first?"

Merlin gave him a look. "It's fine," he added as he looked up at the stairs again.

"We'll go together, then," Arthur stepped forward, smiling despite his best effort not to.

He started walking up the stairs and Merlin followed closely behind, the orb of white light dissipating into the air as Arthur walked by. It wasn't even a long staircase, but the atmosphere somewhat changed. The uncertainty of what lay ahead made Arthur feel, well, uncertain. Maybe a little anxious. But Merlin was there with him, in fact, he was almost pressed against his back. Arthur wasn't sure if he appreciated that, but nevertheless, the realization made him pause.

Their hands brushed against each other, a fact that didn't escape either of them.

Merlin cleared his throat. "Are you scared, Arthur Pendragon?"

Arthur's reaction was immediate. He pulled his hand closer to his body, away from Merlin, frowning. "Of course not, don't be ridiculous, Merlin."

But he didn't move forward.

The whole atmosphere, the obvious history of this place, felt  _eerie._  Arthur was a warrior, he wasn't scared. But his instincts ruled his mind and he didn't want to walk them into danger. What if there was someone hiding up there and they were even more powerful than Merlin?

Merlin's hand found its way into Arthur's, and their fingers intertwined, finally putting an end to the pretending that had been going on for weeks. They both knew what they wanted, they both knew  _something_  was there between them, an obvious and quite unbreakable bond.

"Let's go then, my prince," Merlin told him, squeezing his hand and moving two steps forward to stand next to Arthur.

Arthur looked at him, and their eyes locked.

Merlin smiled and then looked away, facing the dark and uncertainty in front of them. Arthur returned the smile and together, they went up the stairs. With another whisper of an ancient language, all the torches on the walls of the room they entered lit up, illuminating their new surroundings.

It was a little room with a couple of narrow windows on the walls all around them. There was an old broken table with only two legs, and three chairs lying around. One of them had an old beige blanket thrown over it. Other than that though, no danger. No evil sorcerer waiting for them. Nothing. Just a quiet old room with a few spiderwebs, and pouring rain outside.

And their hands. Their hands were still joined.

It made Arthur's heart beat faster.

That was the moment that Merlin chose to let go and walk into the little room. "This doesn't look so bad, does it?" He walked to the window and looked out briefly. He probably couldn't see much because of the rain and the dark. "We could spend the night." He turned to Arthur with a hopeful smile.

"Yeah," Arthur answered. His voice sounded less strong than what he expected and he had to clear his throat. He didn't like being confronted with his feelings and with Merlin, who was the reason for his feelings, at the same time, in a dark room at night. It made him feel . . . even more things. Things he probably shouldn't even be thinking now, when they both needed to rest if they wanted to reach Camelot by the next day's evening.

Merlin sat down on the ground, his back facing the wall that separated the room from the stairs. He patted the space next to him, inviting Arthur to sit down there with a smile.

Which Arthur did, without hesitation. He probably should have hesitated, but his heart was yelling at him, making him ridiculously aware of every detail of Merlin's movements, and it yelled even harder when he sat down, rendering him unable to think properly.

"This is far from the worst place that we've spent a night in," Merlin said. "Probably the scariest." He looked at the broken furniture with cobwebs on it and raised his eyebrows. "Not the worst though."

"Remember the cave?" Arthur miraculously found something sensible to add to the conversation.

"Which one?" Merlin joked as he laughed. "There was so many of them, so many cold nights over the years."

But Arthur knew that Merlin was aware of which cave he was referring to. Two weeks ago. Another rainy night, unusually cold for the beginning of summer and no fire because of the wind. Arthur hadn't known about Merlin's magic back then. And so they shared their body warmth and slept closely together, chest to chest. It was then when Arthur had realized he couldn't escape his feelings and he could not hide them from himself either. He couldn't have been sure, but the way that Merlin had kept looking at him, told him that Merlin was right there with him, struggling with the same feelings.

They never talked about it.

Until now.

"You know which cave I'm talking about," Arthur said carefully, quietly.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to go there yet, to  _talk_  about what he, what  _they_  were feeling, but he felt like he had to. They held hands. And Merlin started it. That meant something to Arthur, and he wanted more of that.

Merlin was quiet, his humour suddenly gone. He didn't look at Arthur, instead, he put his hands together and his eyes flashed gold. A little blue, glowing butterfly flew out from between his palms and circled the room.

Arthur watched the little creature and his chest filled with the familiar warm feeling of love.

He just wished Merlin didn't try to avoid it.

Merlin's eyes followed the butterfly for a moment and then he looked down. "I do," he said. "I remember that night."

The butterfly sat on one of the chairs, away from the cobwebs and slowly opened and closed its little wings.

Arthur looked away and at Merlin. "What do you remember about it?"

Merlin sighed. Their thighs brushed and Arthur shivered, already thinking about what Merlin's answer would be.

The warlock finally looked up and at Arthur, his eyes so bright and hopeful, and  _scared_ , the fire from the torches reflected in them. "Everything." He shrugged. "I remember everything about it, every damn thing, Arthur."

"I remember how nice it felt," Arthur said, bravely.

Merlin gave him a half-smile. "I remember that, too."

If Arthur couldn't escape this, maybe he should just move forward and act. Do something before Merlin looked away. But he felt like his entire body froze at the moment, paralyzed by hesitation and worry, and  _fear._  He'd never felt like this. Maybe that was what scared him. The fact that his feelings were requited.

But then Merlin's eyes dropped down to Arthur's lips and his body  _unfroze_ , telling him there was only one thing to do. He saw Merlin swallow as he leaned forward. He was mere centimetres away from an explosion of all his desires, when-

Merlin put his fingers on Arthur's lips.

He swallowed again, his eyes now sparkling more than before, slightly wet. Arthur frowned at that and moved away, suddenly ashamed.

But he had to ask. "What's wrong?"

Merlin pursed his lips and stared at Arthur's, before looking up and meeting his eyes. "Gwen," he whispered.

Oh.

Arthur could almost feel how his mind completely unlocked in that moment, granting access, and he realized - he'd completely forgotten about her. He thought he was in love with her, and yet he'd forgotten about her.

"I'm sorry," Merlin told him. His voice was weak. "But she's my friend. I can't do that to her."

Arthur was silent for a moment as he nodded. Guinevere was one of the best and most honest people that he'd ever met, and he cared about her. He couldn't do that to her either, he would never forgive himself.

"I understand," he nodded.

This time he even heard Merlin swallow. He looked at him and Merlin took his hand into his. "Don't be mistaken, I want this." He gestured with his other hand in between them.

"I want this, too," Arthur admitted. After the attempt at a kiss, it was fairly obvious, but he still had to voice it, make sure that Merlin knew. He had thought he was in love with Gwen, but that was before he realized his feelings for Merlin. They were stronger than everything else in his life, and with that information, Arthur made a decision. "I'll talk to her."

Merlin squeezed his hand, already looking away. "Be gentle."

Arthur nodded. "I will."

The butterfly started flying again and landed on their joined hands, flapping its wings and then finally settling on the ground in front of them, for the rest of the night.

"Good night, Arthur," Merlin said as he lay down on the ground, his hand still firmly clasping Arthur's.

Arthur lay down next to him, so many thoughts still circling through his mind that he wondered whether he would even fall asleep that night. But Merlin was right there next to him, with him, and as long as Merlin was there, there was a promise.

"Good night, Merlin."

The rain got slowly quieter, and despite his worries, Arthur drifted off within mere minutes. His dreams were pleasant that night - full of promises, and hopes for the future.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading! Next fanfic in the series will come out this Thursday :)
> 
> SPELLS  
> \- _"Tospringe"_ \- means "open quickly" and it was used in many episodes. Taken from merlin.fandom.com/wiki/spells


End file.
